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As i pulled up her grandmother and aunt were leaving to get there hair cut and i waved and walked in, not noticing that there were no limbs in the yard. I said hey to cindy and she hugged me as always and as how i was i told her fine and sat down on the couchshe went to the restroom and came out then walked in her bedroom and ask if icould come there so i got up and walked in her room and she was moving the whole room around and ask if i could heelp rite quick so we moved the bed and nitestand and took a smoke break while we were smoking she ask if it was good that nite i good really red and kinda hard Ummm yeah it was i said she laughedand said she had never had a cock as big as mine and wanted to know how bigit really was and i said ive never mesured it idk? well next thing i know she had afreaking tape measure in her hand and said can i mesure it? i laughed and said its not hard, she laughed and said i can fix that so she came over and sat next tome on the bed and stared rubbing. “So, in order to heal from that pain, I had to start really loving myself. Loving myself meant I had to embrace every part of myself. Loving myself meant that I could step back from the situation and see how pathetic and sad my ex was because he felt so driven by his sexuality and so ashamed of it that he had to hurt, use, manipulate, degrade, humiliate, and deceive people for his sexual satisfaction and that that had nothing to do with me, my value as a lover, or my ability to make sound choices in a partner. It was then that I decided that I was not going lie about my sexuality ever again. Never again would I be ashamed of anything I fantasized about, desired, or got aroused by. I was not going to be victim of the same beliefs that made him into a narcissist and sociopath; I was not going to be a slave to a society that created monsters like him because they felt like they had to deny their sexuality. When I got to that point in my life, Father, I released all the fear,.
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